Bad Jokes, Good Forecasts, and Cleveland Abbe (1836.12.03)

CLEVELAND ABBE ON KRNN, 12/3:  Considered by many as the “father of the National Weather Service” serving as its leader for 45 years, Cleveland Abbe was born on this date in 1838.  Whether rain or shine, make sure not to wither, no matter whiter you go, you are invited to the weather show for Abbe’s birthday on Crosscurrents, 12/3 at 8 am.

 

There is no reason to believe that Cleveland Abbe was a comedian. After all, weather forecasting is no joke… and what follows are examples of same…

How do hurricanes know where they’re going?

They look with their eye!

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Why did the cloud stay home?

It was feeling under the weather!

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Why don’t more people tell weather puns?

Because the weather is snow joke!

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What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rain of terror!

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Knock, knock!
Who’s There?
Accordian.
Accordian who?
Accordian to the Weather Channel, its going to snow tomorrow!

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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter bring an umbrella, it looks like it might rain!

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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing outside.

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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow one at home at my house.

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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy today; cloudy tomorrow.

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Q: What do you call a wet bear?

A: A drizzly bear

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Q: What did one raindrop say to the other?

A: Two’s company, three’s a cloud.

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Q: When does it rain money?

A: When there is “change” in the weather.

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Q: What happens when fog lifts in California?

A: UCLA

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Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In a snow bank.

Peanuts, Snoopy, and Charles M. Schulz (1922.11.26)

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The creator and cartoonist of the globally-popular “Peanuts” characters, Charles M. Schulz was born on this date in 1922.  We hope you avoid the doghouse and follow us to the Schulz birthday on Crosscurrents, 11/26 at 8 am.

Charles M. Schulz on KRNN, 11/26 at 8 am live on air link:  http://www.krnn.org

QUOTES:

As Charlie Brown
1. “My anxieties have anxieties.” (9 November 1968)
2. “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love!” (15 Dec 1964)
3. “Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘What can I do to keep my life from going by so fast?’ Then a voice comes to me that says, ‘Try slowing down at the corners.'” (30 July 1996 )
4. “I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.” (8 August 1966)
5. “How can I say the right thing and the wrong thing at the same time?” (11 September 1985)
6. “I’m not a poor loser, I’m a good loser. I’m so good at it I lose all the time!” (2 August 1998)

As Snoopy
1. “My mind reels with sarcastic replies.” (12 October 1971)
2. “Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. *sigh!* There’s so little hope for advancement.” (15 February 1958)
3. Beauty Tips – How to Look Younger: Don’t be born so soon.” (4 May 1982)
4. “(Writes a new book on theology:) I have the perfect title… Has It Ever Occurred to You That You Might Be Wrong?” (9 August 1976)

As Linus van Pelt
1. “Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life!” (17 June 1961)
2. “Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.” (15 November 1957)
3. “I love mankind – it’s people I can’t stand!” (12 November 1959)
4. “There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people…religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!” (25 October 1961)
5. “You can’t bluff an old theologian!” (6 December 1972)

As Lucy van Pelt
1. “Don’t let your team down by showing up!” (16 April 1963)
2. “These five fingers: individually they’re nothing, but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold!” (5 January 1964)
3. “In all of mankind’s history, there has never been more damage done than by people who “thought they were doing the right thing.” Five cents, please.” (18 November 1971)

As Sally Brown
1. “Happiness is having your own library card.” (26 April 1964)
2. “Some philosophies take a thousand years. I think of them in two minutes.” (15 April 1997)
3. “Light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles per second. … So why are the afternoons so long?” (1 June 1976)
4. “Life in the village was peaceful until the volcano interrupted.” (15 May 1998)

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Happiness is a warm puppy.
Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.
Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.
No problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from!
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong’. Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.

 

Lincoln, Civil War, and the Gettysburg Address (1863.11.19)

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Lincoln had been invited on this date in 1863 to give a “few appropriate remarks” to dedicate a cemetery for Union soldiers killed at Gettysburg.  Despite its brevity and earning little attention at the time, the Gettysburg Address is one of Lincoln’s greatest speeches which you are invited to celebrate on Crosscurrents, 11/19 at 8 am.

GETTYSBURG ADDRESS ON KRNN, 11/19 at 8 am.  live on air link: http://www.krnn.org

 

Get Out to Vote and Susan B. Anthony (1872.11.05)

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 American civil rights activist Susan B. Anthony was later arrested for voting “illegally” in the presidential election on this date in 1872.   You are encouraged to vote on Tuesday after you listen to the suffragist song fest on Monday Crosscurrents 11/5 at 8 am.

SUSAN B. ANTHONY ON KRNN, 11/5: live onair link:  http://www.krnn.org

Quotes:

Nothing is hopeless that is right.

The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball – the further I am rolled the more I gain.

We ask justice, we ask equality, we ask that all the civil and political rights that belong to citizens of the United States, be guaranteed to us and our daughters forever.

“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”

Women should have equal pay for equal work and they should be considered equally eligible to the offices of principal and superintendent, professor and president. So you must insist that qualifications, not sex, shall govern appointments and salaries.

“Forget conventionalisms; forget what the world thinks of you stepping out of your place; think your best thoughts, speak your best words, work your best works, looking to your own conscience for approval.”

“No man is good enough to govern any woman without her consent.”

“Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.”

Post script:

     She was fined $100 though she never paid it.

     The legal arguement on her behalf was based on the 14th and the 15th Amendment.

     She pledged her vote for U.S. Grant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask Jeeves, Edwardian England, and P.G. Wodehouse (1881.10.15)

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 English-born novelist, short-story writer, and playwright, best known as a satirist of the Edwardian British upper class, P.G. Wodehouse was born on this date in 1881.  You can ask your smart speaker or the butler Jeeves to tune into the Wodehouse birthday on Crosscurrents, 10/15 at 8 am.

P.G.WODEHOUSE ON KRNN, 10/15:  live on-air: http://www.krnn.org

P.G. Wodehouse quotes – – –

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.”

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.”

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

“I always advise people never to give advice.”

What’s the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don’t yield to them?”

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.”

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.”

Every day you seem to know less and less about more and more”

Laurel and Hardy, silent movie, and “Second Hundred Years” (1927.10.08)

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 Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy first appeared together as convicts escaping from a penitentiary in the silent short-film “Second Hundred Years” released on this date in 1927.  Laurel and Hardy are perfect inspiration to the craziness to which you are invited on Crosscurrents, 10/8 at 8 am.  STAN AND OLLIE ON KRNN 10/8: live on-air link:  http://www.krnn.org